Raising Tomorrow: It takes a village to nurture young minds

Associate Dean Wellbeing/School Psychologist

One of my favourite events of the year is the Year 12 Valedictory Dinner. It is an opportunity for students, parents, and staff to share a meal and celebrate all that we have accomplished together. As students cross the stage, I find myself reflecting on their stories, remembering conversations and experiences with both students and their families. Similarly, I know that my colleagues, and of course our Year 12 parents, are also reflecting on their own stories, and the atmosphere reverberates with pride, relief and optimism.

It takes a village to raise a child, and Girls Grammar has been part of that community for many students. Educators, including teachers and support staff, have the privilege of sharing in the celebration, sadness, disappointment and joy experienced by our students and their families as they traverse adolescence. Growing an adult is hard work, and adolescents can be very canny. They can expect parents to rescue them, and are adept at splitting the alignment between home and school, especially when it involves discipline or disappointment. Thus, the notion that it takes a village to raise a child has never been more relevant than during adolescence.

A few years ago, during a workshop, Girls Grammar staff were asked two questions: ‘What do we want our students to be when they are adults?’ and ‘Are we providing an education that helps students to become such adults?’. In recent years, we have posed the same questions to parents, and the responses from both groups have been almost identical. Words like ‘confident’, ‘successful’, ‘happy’, ‘thoughtful’, ‘strong’, ‘optimistic’ and ‘resilient’ are offered by both parents and educators, demonstrating a strong alignment. Thus, if the key to the success of a village is all members sharing a common purpose, then the Girls Grammar village is indeed successful, underpinned by our collective goal of raising girls to become young women who are ready to face the world beyond school.

The second question invites both educators and parents to reflect on how we can help our future Grammar Women develop the dispositions required for them to reach the aspirations we hold. We know that to receive strong academic results, a student must engage in her lessons, revise her work and persist when faced with complex questions. Here, the village works together to support her. Teachers provide encouragement and targeted feedback, while parents offer both practical and emotional support. Similarly, if we want students to become confident and resilient, then they must navigate challenges, make mistakes and learn to bounce back. To become adults with integrity, students must be held to account when being disrespectful or dishonest, and learn to make amends. Just as students must wrestle with the academic rigour to improve their grades, so too must they face frustration, distress, confronting conversations, or bear disappointment if they are to become adults of good character. It is during such times that the strength of the village makes a significant difference.

Our village of educators and parents is fortified by the different relationships, perspectives and skills of our members. In challenging times, the community can support each other by providing a reassuring voice, some pearls of wisdom, or when needed, tag-teaming ‘good cop-bad cop’. Understandably, parents can find it difficult to bear their child’s distress or disappointment. Yet we know sometimes that it is these very experiences that contribute the most to building character and resilience. Here, educators, who are less emotionally attached, can help both parents and students to navigate such challenges, while maintaining sight of the long-term goal of nurturing a confident and capable young woman. Educators strive to connect with their students and seek to understand how each girl learns best. Here, parents can provide valuable insights regarding their daughter’s strengths, insecurities and motivations. Knowing whether a student had a wonderful weekend, or an awful one, helps educators to know whether it is the time to push or support. Thus, the magic of the Girls Grammar village is that we trust that each member is working toward a unified goal, and we maintain open and regular communication to help us reach that goal.

Every day, educators have the absolute privilege of witnessing students grow into the adults we aspire them to be. Whether it be overcoming the fear of public speaking, performing a solo at Interhouse Choir, or navigating the high-ropes course at Marrapatta, being witness to this is at the heart of why we have devoted our lives to educating adolescent girls. As such, each November, when the Year 12 cohort takes their final bow, you will find me, and other Girls Grammar staff, feeling as emotional, and as proud of our students as their parents. While bittersweet, we are confident in the knowledge that the community has done its job, and our Grammar girls are ready for their next village.